emily

What is EFT Tapping?

emilyjandrew@outlook.com (Emily Andrew) — Tue, 15 Nov 2022 11:40:47 GMT

With Boy George bringing EFT into the spotlight prompting Sean Walsh and Jill Scott to start tapping in the jungle, many more people are asking; ‘What is tapping and what is it all about?’

What is EFT Tapping?

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a powerful modality that combines the somatic and cognitive together. A true mind-body approach. Clinical EFT has been applied in psychological and medical environments for over 20 years and has been validated as an evidence-based practice by the American Psychological Association (APA). This means that you’re likely to be reading and hearing even more about it as it becomes more mainstream, so why leave it to the celebrities when you can join in and tap into this technique now!

EFT is often referred to as ‘tapping’ due to its application; using 2 or more fingers to stimulate acupressure points on the face and upper body whilst repeating statements related to the issue that you’re working on. It has 3 essential ingredients; exposure, cognitive framing and acupressure.

Research has found EFT treatment to be effective for anxiety, stress, depression, PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder), phobias, cravings, pain, insomnia and autoimmune conditions as well as professional and sports performance. It has the ability to deregulate (switch off) up to 6 genes in the body that are responsible for stress symptoms and syndromes, lower the stress hormone cortisol levels and positively impacts brain activity and other biological effects.

The growing research base also shows that not only is it a safe treatment, it produces results quicker and more effectively than traditional talking therapy. You can work with an accredited, certified EFT Practitioner or use it as a self-applied stress reduction technique, it is easy to learn and simple to apply.

How do you do EFT?

Although there are many variations of tapping which are still effective, let’s look at clinical EFT for this example.

Before you begin you may want to rate the feelings or issue that you’re having on a scale from 0-10. 0 = no distress and 10= the highest level of distress. This is called the SUD rating (Subjective Units of Distress).

Initially we start with a ‘Set-up Statement’ tapping on the side of the hand by the little finger. This is an acknowledgement of the problem and/or feelings we are having and an acceptance of it, for example “Even though I am feeling anxious, I deeply and completely accept myself”.

Then we would move into the rest of the process and repeat a ‘Reminder Phrase’ whilst tapping through each point: start of the eyebrow, side of the eye, under the eye, under the nose, under the lip on the chin crease, an inch under the collarbone, under the arm (about 4 fingers down from the armpit), and top of the head. The reminder phrase might be something like, ‘this anxiety’ or ‘I’m feeling anxious’. We would call this ‘a round’.

Once you get to the top of the head, take a deep breath in and out and then rate the feeling or issue using the SUD scale again. If your number is still high, you repeat the round (starting at the eyebrow point and ending at the top of the head). It’s recommended that you repeat the process as many times as you need until your SUD rating is 0.

There are many other ways that you can apply EFT;

Choosing particular points that feel good for you and focusing on them, e.g. only tapping across the collarbone.

Using affirmation statements whilst tapping - These are great to create a more positive mindset; tapping through the points saying phrases like “I am calm”, “I am successful”, “I am safe”.

If you are someone who gets anxious or stressed in public you could also use discreet tapping and tap on the finger points that are located at the inside of your finger by your nail – great if you’re in a public space or want to refocus in the office.

You could also add tapping into your daily gratitude practice, or even into your morning walk!

If you’d like to know more about EFT, have any questions or are looking to tap with a practitioner feel free to get in touch with me. You can follow me on TikTok, YouTube or join in with my live tap-a-longs on Instagram!

hello@wearemindbody.co.uk

www.wearemindbody.co.uk

@wearemindbody

References:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6316206/

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.951451/full?fbclid=IwAR3cOaaNuLyrckm_YyFaNlFfyl3AXYfcXUTdElyIa0XSlIB85rXF6OOwnpw

My Breastfeeding Journey & Favourites

emilyjandrew@outlook.com (Emily Andrew) — Sun, 08 Aug 2021 20:12:45 GMT

My breastfeeding journey started the night before my c-section with my mother squeezing my breast to get the first mls of colostrum into a teeny tiny syringe so that we had something to go into hospital with. Just in case we should need it. I have always been very self-conscious of my boobs, I’ve even been uncomfortable topless in front of my husband at times, but here I was, 37 weeks pregnant and preparing for a planned but urgent c-section, tit out and being milked by my mother.

I don’t have strong opinions on breast/bottle/formula, yes I wanted to give it a go to get the benefits of breastfeeding for both me and my son but, I believe that everyone is different and therefore there’s no ‘right way’. I had decided that I was going to just go with the flow in terms of breast feeding. I didn’t want to have my heart set on it, only to struggle and then feel the disappointment of using an alternative means.

I was lucky, after the c-section my son latched and fed for a good few hours. I felt like I could breathe a sigh of relief, he could do it, I could do it!

Unfortunately, things didn’t go as smoothly as I thought they would. He had been born early as he had stopped growing, so we had a tiny baby on our hands that needed lots of milk, but this tiny baby also had jaundice and a tongue tie. The tongue tie meant that the amount of energy he was having to use just to feed was causing him to drink for less than 10 minutes before needing a sleep. We rallied and decided that if I could pump and give him top ups of expressed breast milk then at least we could know he was getting enough, which was the main concern, however it meant that feeding him was an hour and a half long affair. First I’d breast feed, then give him a bottle top up and then either give him to my husband during the day or pop him in the moses basket at night. I’d then pump to keep my supply going and our stores up, put the milk in the fridge, clean the bottle and sterilise everything ready for the next feed…then do it all over again an hour later.

I was sleep deprived and stressed. If I had less than 4 bottles in the fridge I’d feel on edge, I never knew how much of a top up he would need to have- I didn’t want to waste milk and I didn’t want to leave him hungry. My sister supplied some of her frozen breast milk to take the self-imposed pressure off for a day or so and then my mum gently suggested that I buy some formula just in case but, stubborn as ever I wanted to do it all myself.

After a few weeks we had our tongue tie appointment and had to figure out another new routine, thankfully with less cracked nipples and fewer pumping sessions. I began to feel slightly less like a milk machine - I got out of the house, did human things and as time went on I got more comfortable and really enjoyed breast feeding.

I am now 9 weeks in and largely feel like we’ve got this. Don’t get me wrong, some days I worry that my milk has dried up, I’m not pumping enough, his latch is wrong or that he’s not getting what he needs, but I think that that’s part and parcel of being a mum – you feel like you have it all worked out one minute and then the next you feel like you’re failing at everything. This is exactly why I feel like putting pressure on ourselves, or each other to do things a certain way is just fruitless. I’m sure that no matter what the choice, there are hard bits that just feel too much, days where you spill the milk and just feel like everything is against you. No matter what way you feed your baby, it’s important to give yourself grace over guilt. Do what you need to do to keep both you and your baby happy and healthy.

My Breastfeeding Favourites

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Morning Sickness Hacks

Sun, 07 Mar 2021 20:47:04 GMT

After writing about my experience with morning sickness and the effects it had on my mental health I wanted to pop a post out about some of the tips and tricks I've tried out just in case they are useful for other people!

Some things I tried and they didn't work so well, some things did - we are all different and this is by no way a list designed for you to live by! But if you try some things out and it works then that's great.

I'll always recommend first and foremost that you speak to your midwife or GP about any symptoms you're concerned about, especially if you're struggling with your mental health.

Morning Sickness Hacks

T ake your folic acid in the evening before you go to bed.

This was something that my mum suggested to me early on as apparently folic acid/some pregnancy supplements can leave you feeling a bit ropey. Having my folic acid in the evening just before I go to bed also meant that I wasn't worried about throwing up at breakfast and therefore not actually receiving it's benefits. I keep mine by my bed so it's literally the last thing I do before brushing my teeth.

G inger!

So you'll probably have heard about ginger biscuits by now if you're pregnant and although there's some differing opinion on whether it is actually an effective solution from a scientific/nutritional standpoint for me, they were the perfect go to if I was feeling rough. Ginger is proven to help with nausea so whether it's ginger biscuits, stem ginger or crystallised/candied ginger it's definitely worth a go. I used to have a ginger biscuit the minute I woke up just so that there was something in my body straight away.

Peppermint/Ginger tea

Much like ginger, peppermint also has a long association with digestion - with anti-inflammatory properties that can help with heartburn, indigestion and pregnancy nausea. Ginger can be a like it or loathe it kind of situation so if you are looking for something less polarising then peppermint can be more palatable with just as many benefits. If you, like me, couldn't stomach decaf coffee any more then peppermint/ginger teas may be your new favourite go to for a hot drink.

E at little and often

If you are finding stomaching big meals a bit too much then taking a grazing approach may help to keep nausea at bay and keep you and your baby provided with much needed nutrients. Snacking was really important for me in the early days of pregnancy when the sickness was really bad, that being said it's always best to listen to your body and if you're unsure of any nutritional aspects then speak to a professional.

A lways have something on hand

The amount of times that I got caught short on a walk or whilst I was out was ridiculous. When your blood sugar drops it's quite common that you'll feel sick so do what I should have done and make sure to keep a cereal bar, piece of fruit or bag of dried fruit and nuts in your bag/car/walking coat. Having something to hand will mean that you avoid those awful lows which can leave you feeling pretty shaky and gross.

K eep yourself upright

As a Pilates teacher I had no choice but to exercise throughout my pregnancy - overall this was a total blessing as it 's helped me stay mobile and strong. However, at the beginning of my pregnancy (before we were telling anyone) I found teaching certain movements really challenging because they'd leave me feeling dizzy or light-headed. Roll downs in particular were a bit of a no-no, as well as any movements that required me to move my head quickly or have my head lower than the rest of my body. Thankfully no one seemed to notice when I demonstrated once or twice and then opted out! If you're continuing to join in with your fitness classes it's always best to listen to your body first and foremost because you'll soon figure out what feels good and what doesn't!

A void certain smells

Your sense of smell is even more heightened in pregnancy, which means that normal smells that you previously tolerated or even liked can quickly become stomach churning! For me it was the smell of cooked bacon that got me - I could cook us a lovely bacon and egg bagel and the minute the bacon stopped cooking and the smell started to get slightly 'old' I'd be saying goodbye to breakfast. You'll quickly learn what smells set you off so if you can, avoid them at all costs!

K eep note of what sets you off

Whether it be certain foods, temperatures, movements, smells - the more that you take note of what is causing your nausea, the better prepared you can be to avoid those triggers. Learning to become your own student and keying into your body will also really help you throughout your pregnancy in general.

T ravel bands

I'm a TERRIBLE passenger in the car which means I am always the driver, even on short trips. As a result I have been using travel bands for many years, so I don't know why I didn't think about trying them for my nausea. They work using acupressure points to restore the positive and negative ions in the body. You'll need to place them onto the 'Nei Kuan' point of your wrists - place your middle three fingers on the inside of each wrist with the edge of the third finger on the first wrist crease. The correct point is just under the edge of your index finger between the two central tendons - that's where you want to pop the bands. These may not be for everyone but as there's no adverse side effects, you may as well give them a go!

S tay hydrated

It's really important to stay hydrated during pregnancy as your body needs water to carry nutrients, form amniotic fluid, produce extra blood volume, build new tissue, help indigestion and flush out your wastes and toxins - as well as that of your baby! If you are being sick you're likely to get dehydrated quicker so it's important to try and keep topping up your water intake. If you can't drink water then try drinking it cold or even sucking ice cubes! It'll help to keep you cool as well as provide a nice relief.

Get outside

Even on the days where I felt like absolute death warmed up I always got out at least once a day to walk the dog. I cannot stress to you how much I DIDN'T want to go out some days but with a 1 yr old Irish Doodle - needs must! Even on those days though, I felt so much better for it, even if it was just 10 minutes. Getting out in the fresh air really helped me mentally and physically to recalibrate, especially after a day of having my head down a toilet.

T ry alternative therapies

It's time to stop looking at self-care as self-indulgent! Some alternative therapies that you could try out which have been effective in treating fatigue and nausea are; acupuncture, acupressure, massage and reflexology. These can not only help you to get some relief but they can also relax you and prepare for birth.

Pregnancy: Morning Sickness & Mental Health Struggles

Mon, 15 Feb 2021 16:10:07 GMT

This blog post discusses topics such as mental health illness and eating disorders which could be uncomfortable or triggering for some people. If you find the subjects in this article difficult to deal with please make sure that you share how you feel with someone. You can find support at BEAT , Mind and similar charities or by visiting your GP. Eating disorders and mental illnesses thrive in secrecy, don't be afraid to reach out if you're struggling,

I found out I was pregnant really early on (4w); I was experiencing bad pain in my back, what felt like terrible period cramps and an underlying feeling of nausea for a few weeks before I took a test. Even then I was shocked at the positive result and spent weeks not truly believing it.

I had never been one of those people who wanted to be a mother. Growing up I wanted to be an actress, this involved a 'no strings attached' kind of life, so marriage and kids was never something I really considered or particularly craved. As I got older and that dream didn't become a reality, I met my husband, fell in love and got married but a baby still wasn't on our agenda. Deciding to have a baby was a decision and a big one at that. My past struggles with mental health illnesses and eating disorders made me fearful; I thought I may not be able to have children because of everything that my body had been through & morally part of me felt like I shouldn't even if I could, just in case I passed on my "bad DNA" to my child. We talked about it and weighed it out but it came back to the fact that we wanted to have someone who was ours. So, despite the pandemic of 2020 I took my implant out and by October I was staring down at 3 positive pregnancy tests.

I never expected pregnancy to be a walk in the park, but I was surprised at just how much it impacted my mental health and brought up memories of having an eating disorder.

When I was 21, I was admitted into The Priory, an urgent intervention because my body had started to effectively shut down due to the constant punishment I put it through. My relationship with food had been on a decline since the age of 12 and I spent my late teens and early 20s not eating at all, eating and purging or bingeing and purging. I was diagnosed with bulimia in March 2011 after I collapsed but despite going through one round of day treatment I proceeded to get worse. So by November 2012 my potassium levels were so low that I was having whole body cramping and severe panic attacks, I was at risk of organ failure and was told that if something wasn't done there was a real possibility that I could die.

It's been 7/8 years since I was discharged and the more time that has passed the stronger I feel I've become in my recovery and personal growth. If I'm honest, I wouldn't have got pregnant if I still felt like I was at odds with my mental health or my relationship with food, I wouldn't have been ready. But despite feeling prepared and in a really good place mentally, physically and emotionally I was totally floored by that first trimester and more specifically- the morning sickness.

Between 70-80% of women experience morning sickness in their first trimester, only 1-2% experience Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) which is a rare form of extreme morning sickness, sometimes requiring hospitalisation. Thankfully I wasn't diagnosed with HG but that didn't mean that my morning sickness wasn't debilitating and mentally challenging.

First of all, “morning” sickness is extremely misleading. From week 6 it was an all-day job, no matter what I seemed to eat my body would reject it. I tried everything I could think of to stave it off but quickly all I could think about food and what I was or wasn’t managing to keep down. Some days were better than others and I'd be able to eat a meal but mostly, I was back in a state of what felt like total misery and chaos. It felt like nothing I did helped and not being able to tell people that I was pregnant made me isolate myself away from everyone because I didn't have the energy to put on a happy face.

It was a huge reminder of my bulimia; the sickness, preoccupation, secrecy, sudden hunger, fear, exhaustion, shame and guilt. At one stage I started questioning if I was starting to relapse -perhaps the sickness wasn't due to being pregnant and I was actually subconsciously using it as an excuse to go back to my illness? It really scared me as I hadn't questioned myself like that for a long time and the fact that I was struggling with these complicated thoughts and feelings only further challenged my mental health.

We decided to tell our parents at 8 weeks. I felt really torn between waiting to have the scan, something to hold that could really 'confirm' it and needing my Mum and Dad. I had imagined telling them in some fun imaginative way - full of excitement and happy tears. Not saying "we're having a baby" which was quickly followed by "and I am really struggling with it". Thankfully my Mum is a midwife and having my parents and in-laws in on the secret meant that I felt slightly reassured but because of lockdown we still weren’t able to see them properly so the feelings of loneliness and not coping continued.

By the time I went for my first appointment with the midwife I felt like I was at breaking point. I explained I wasn’t coping well, she was very kind and understanding and advised me to talk to my Dr about getting some anti-sickness medication. Meanwhile they would ask the perinatal mental health team to contact me, just to check up on my mood and see if I needed any further support. Unfortunately, the weeks following my appointment I didn't receive a phone call so I was left to fend for myself and deal with it as best as I could.

Dealing with morning sickness after previously living with bulimia brought up behaviours, old thoughts and feelings which I thought I had left behind.

When I was ill I would often be caught in binge/purge cycles that could go on for hours or even days. I would usually get to a point where I would be weak, shaking and exhausted, but then I’d feel like I had to have something in me, so I’d eat and subsequently trigger it all again. Over the years of treatment I learnt how to break those cycles and then not to enter into them at all, but the pattern of trying to put something in my body to help it to grow a tiny human only for it to be constantly rejected felt like being back at square one. The impetus behind it was different but the result was similar.

Googling "pregnancy with a history of bulimia" and "morning sickness after bulimia nervosa" for help was the worst idea I had. The online resources and papers that I found were all discussing the risks of miscarriage and the dangers of having an eating disorder whilst pregnant. There was no useful information, just stuff that made me even more petrified that I was going to kill my baby. Everything referred to the ED being in the present tense which really put me off- I didn't have an eating disorder again. I wasn't ill, was I?

The questions spiralled in my head constantly making me feel very low and my confidence in myself and my recovery was starting to slip away. I thought that when we had our 12 week scan I would feel some sort of relief; I'd see that the baby was ok, I'd feel a connection and I would start getting excited but when it came to it, I was almost too scared to believe that this little thing could survive the chaos that my body was going through which made me feel even more guilty.

Guilt and shame cause us to be less likely to admit when we are struggling and therefore reaching out for help can feel like a defeat instead of what it is: a positive step.

When we began to tell people about the baby I was scared of the judgement that I was going to be under if I said that I had been having a hard time with pregnancy. I know a lot of people who have really struggled with baby loss or even getting pregnant and I didn't want to appear ungrateful or selfish. However, one day I ended up briefly talking about how the sickness was making me feel on my Instagram stories and I was amazed at how many women reached out. Morning sickness is very common, disordered eating is also very common, so it shouldn't have shocked me that many others had dealt with experiences similar to mine - but it did. From women who struggled massively with their body image, to binge eating, to relapsing into an eating disorder. There were so many and hardly any of them had sought out help, either because they didn't think they classified as someone who could look for support, or for fear that they would be coined an 'unfit mother' and have to deal with the stigma surrounding that.

Staying silent and trying to cope on your own with the myriad of emotions and thoughts you have when pregnant can be really challenging, if I hadn't shared my own experience that day, I wouldn't have realised just how many others were in similar boats as me. That feeling of camaraderie may not calm the stormy waters that we are in, but it can definitely help us to navigate better and lets us know that we're not alone.

By my 16-week appointment with my midwife I was starting to feel like I was getting somewhere; I’d managed to find some coping techniques to deal with the constant sickness and I knew that I had some kind of handle on the negative thoughts and feelings that were playing on a loop in my head. My mood was still very low though and I asked for her to get in touch with the perinatal mental health team again who thankfully arranged an appointment 2 weeks later.

I'm so glad that I continued to ask for help when I needed it, despite the fears and misjudged feeling of failure that it brought.

As my pregnancy has gone on, thankfully things have improved - I even have some days where I'm not sick at all, others it may only be once or twice. On the days where it is bad, I lean on some of the techniques that I have added to my mental health toolkit over the last 7/8 years as well as using the resources that I've been provided with.

The main reason that I wanted to write this blog post and share my experience is because I didn't want someone else to feel as low and isolated as I did. Being pregnant can be the most incredible experience of a woman's life, but it can also be the most challenging, scary and lonely period too. It's important to know that it's ok to feel both. If you are someone who has had previous experiences with eating disorders and mental illness please know that you’re not alone. Make sure you give yourself permission, the time and space to figure out how you're feeling, welcome all of your emotions and don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help. There are some helpful links at the start of this blog post or you can talk to your midwife or GP.

I f you're looking for some morning sickness hacks check out my blog post here

Prenatal Exercise Do's & Dont's

Sun, 27 Dec 2020 16:43:47 GMT

You're pregnant! Congratulations!

Suddenly you're faced with loads of rules on what you can and can't do. From foods to avoid to vitamins to take, it's easy to get totally overwhelmed.

When I first found out I was pregnant I suddenly began to question everything - Am I doing this right? Should I even be doing that? What is normal to feel? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO FEEL SO RUBBISH?!

The list goes on and on...

Some women will breeze through pregnancy and others won't. We're all built differently and just because you're struggling doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong but it's really important to be kind to yourself.

For the first 11 weeks I suffered with horrific "morning" sickness -whoever coined it that needs to seriously reconsider the name! I also had really bad back pain down the left side of my body coupled with what felt like horrendous period pains. Needless to say, the last thing that I wanted to do was exercise!

However, with movement being the main part of my job I had to continue to teach so I made sure to pay attention to anything that really didn't help my symptoms and amended or avoided them. It can be pretty frustrating if you consider yourself quite an active person but in the long run, you'll thank yourself for giving yourself a break!

It's also key to really think about what your exercise routine looked like before you were pregnant. If you are a seasoned runner you don't have to hang up your trainers the minute you find out you're expecting. Whilst pregnancy may not be the time to take up HIIT training if you've never done it before, it doesn't mean you have to stop doing the things you already do and love.

If you haven't had a regular exercise routine for a while then start small with a 30 minute daily walk, swimming or look for low impact prenatal classes such as Pilates.

To help you give you a clear idea of what you should and shouldn't be doing when it comes to exercising whilst pregnant I've come up with a handy list of prenatal do's and don'ts.

Listen to your body

This is something that I always advocate for , whether you're pregnant or not. However, it's even more important from the moment that you find you're expecting to really pay attention to what your body is trying to tell you.

Because of all the changes your body goes through you may feel a heightened sense of sensations and be more alert to every move you make and breath you take. This is totally normal and it's important not to let yourself get too stressed by questioning everything you feel. That being said if some days you are feeling lethargic and achy it's probably best not to push yourself through a rigorous workout, instead opt for a nice low impact/stretchy session or just skip it all together!

Don't overstretch

During pregnancy your body is flooded with a hormone called Relaxin which is key for aiding implantation, placenta growth as well as stopping contractions as the baby grows to prevent early delivery. Later on in pregnancy relaxin also helps the ligaments in the pelvis to stretch ready for labour.

A side effect of all this much needed Relaxin is that other muscles will also start to be effected so you may find that your flexibility is increased.

"Great!" I hear you cry... "Maybe I can realise my childhood dream of doing the splits!"

Actually, it's really important not to overstretch and encourage this as you could start to develop instability in joints and areas of the body.

Your hips, for example are a key area of the body that needs strengthening to remain stable and supportive throughout pregnancy so movements like Clam Shells are going to be key for you to support your changing body.

Support your balance

Over the course of your pregnancy your center of gravity will change as your bump grows, so it's important to keep that in mind whenever you're exercising. When you do any standing work it's handy to have a chair close by to support you just in case you find you're suddenly more wobbly than you used to be!

If you don't have a chair you can use then the kitchen counter or even a wall will suffice!

Needless to say, as your balance is challenged it's also a good idea to avoid contact sports or any exercise that has a high risk of falling or someone else falling into you.

Limit your ab work

During the first trimester (1-12 weeks) start to limit the amount of "sit up" abdominal exercises needs to be reduced. After week 12 and into your second and third trimester it's important to avoid any "sit up" or "crunching" movements as the linea alba (a fibrous structure that runs down the middle of your abdomen) naturally separates and shouldn't be put under any added pressure as this can cause diastasis recti .

Instead, focus on the lifting of the belly & pelvic floor (like you're hugging your baby from underneath).

G et off your back

After 16 weeks avoid lying on your back for a long time as not only will it most likely feel uncomfortable it can also cause bloodflow issues to your baby.

Instead, play it safe and prop yourself up on your elbows or use pillows to adjust any supine work you do.

Avoid having both legs in the air

This can put too much pressure on your back and core. Movements like double leg stretch and the hundred will need to be adjusted so that you only have one leg in the air at a time. If you're unsure of adjustments at any point then you can always ask your teacher who should be able to give you suitable alternatives throughout your pregnancy.

Kneel instead of lying on your front

If you found out you were pregnant later on in your first trimester don't worry if you've still been doing movements lying on your front but it's good to start to avoid them as soon as you know you're pregnant.

Movements like swimming can still be done by kneeling slightly at an angle so use this as an alternative where appropriate.

Plank no more

It all comes back to abdominal pressure, from your second trimester full planks (including elbow planks) can put too much pressure on your back and abs. Instead, opt for a hover plank which will help to support both your back and abs but still gives you a whole body challenge.

Stay hydrated

Whenever you're exercising it's important to keep your body hydrated, so take breaks when you need to and if you feel lightheaded or dizzy -stop. In general you should always be keeping yourself hydrated when pregnant as your body needs water to form amniotic fluid, produce extra blood volume, build new tissue, carry nutrients, help indigestion and flush out your wastes and toxins (as well as the baby's).

D on't avoid cardio

The NHS encourages pregnant women to do 30 minutes of exercise every day, the level of which should enable you to continue to hold a conversation and not feel lightheaded.

If you already run then you can continue to do so but make sure you let your midwife or GP know just to be on the safe side.

If you aren't a runner then you choose things like walking, cycling or swimming. If dance or aerobics is more your thing then make sure that your instructor is experienced with teaching prenatal women and can advise you of any adaptations you may need to make.

Be kind

Give yourself a break! Some days you may feel totally exhausted, others you're raring to go. No matter what, don't stress yourself out by putting too much pressure on yourself to live out some idealistic view of what a pregnant woman should be or do.

Now is the time to figure out what is going to support your physical health and mental wellbeing so unfollow those social media accounts that make you feel like crap and unsubscribe to the demanding fitness trainer that doesn't suit your needs.

G et on the mat

Pilates is a great way to keep your body moving throughout pregnancy in a safe, effective way. Not only can every movement be adjusted to suit any body in any state (pregnant or otherwise!), it is also a great way to encourage strength and tick off your cardio for the day.

If you are looking to do prenatal Pilates then why not get in touch?! There's a range of options available to you from videos to 1:1 training.

How to: Engaging your Core

Fri, 06 Nov 2020 18:00:03 GMT

In Pilates we use a 30% engagement of our core muscles, these aren't just our outer abdominal muscles, the ones you think of as the 6/8 pack muscles, but the 4 paired abdominal muscles: rectus abdominis, external oblique, internal oblique, and transversus abdominis (see photo) and the pelvic floor.

The connection to the core is deep and it can take time to really feel like you get the hang of this type of engagement so practice is key. I find the best way to connect with and learn to engage properly in your core is imagining that you have a belt on over your belly button -for 30% think of the 3rd notch on your imaginary belt. Below is an exercise that is really good to do generally but see if you can implement it during your next Pilates session.

Pilates Belt Work

YOU CAN DO THIS STANDING, SITTING OR EVEN DOING THE WASHING UP!

1. THINK ABOUT YOUR CORE LIKE A BELT WITH 10 NOTCHES. DRAW THE BELT IN TO THE 10TH HOLE (TIGHTEST PAIR OF JEANS) NOTICE HOW MUCH YOU TENSE UP AND STOP BREATHING - THERE'S A REASON WE DON'T WORK TO THIS EXTREME!

2.TAKE IT BACK DOWN TO THE 5TH NOTCH, BREATHE IN AND OUT HOLDING WITH CONTROL.

3. THEN TAKE IT TO THE 3RD NOTCH BREATHING IN AND OUT AND HOLDING.

4. REPEAT THIS 6-8 TIMES WHEN ONLY PRACTICING THE CORE WORK.

5. YOU CAN DO THIS AS MANY TIMES A TIMES A DAY AS YOU LIKE DEPENDING ON HOW YOU FEEL.

It may not feel like much, but a small engagement like this, when paired with Pilates movements is all you need for intense, safe and effective movement. Don't get tempted to pull in as much as you possibly can and create tension where you don't need it.

Remember, if you aren't engaged correctly you won't be executing the technique properly and therefore the movement will become irrelevant or easy. So try to maintain the 3rd notch whenever you're doing any Pilates movements in class or during your home practice.

How To Heal Diastasis Recti A.K.A The Mum Tum

Wed, 28 Oct 2020 21:46:32 GMT

Being a Pilates teacher, I have been asked a lot about Diastasis Recti and whether there is anything to be done to help to banish the "dreaded mum tum".

Firstly, if you are someone who has had a baby and may be struggling to “bounce back”, my first piece of advice to you is; GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK.

You have done something incredible and created LIFE, you are most likely navigating through sleepless nights, first times and sore body parts so please don’t give yourself a hard time!! You’re a badass so never forget that!

Diastasis Recti is different from pregnancy weight gain, it is actually the physical separation of the abdominal muscles that occurs during pregnancy. To physically make space for your growing baby the linea alba (connective tissue) between the rectus abdominis expands during pregnancy. Our bodies are able to effectively “heal” themselves unless an extreme separation occurs, after multiple births or unless they are put through unnecessary pressure or stress.

You can check if you have Diastasis Recti yourself by checking at home. Follow the steps on the infographic for more information.

Pilates is one of the best ways in which you can help to restore your core. It is low impact, focuses on correct alignment and a great way to start to reconnect to your body again. Your Pilates teacher should be able to advise you on which exercises to avoid and give you safe alternative movements when needed. If you ever feel too much pressure or “pulling”, stop, rest and don’t be afraid to ask your teacher if something doesn’t feel right.

WHY NOT JOIN IN WITH ONE OF MY CLASSES? WITH MY ONLINE CLASSES YOU CAN DO PILATES WITHOUT EVEN GETTING DRESSED! CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE!

What's the difference between Pilates and Yoga?

Sun, 25 Oct 2020 09:43:42 GMT

This is one of the most common questions that I get asked and I know that many other Pilates and Yoga teachers can relate.

When I first started teaching this question made me slightly nervous, I mean I knew what Pilates was but Yoga? No clue. I'd done a few classes but mainly because I liked the lying down bit at the end(!) I felt a real pressure to know everything about Yoga and felt like I was less of a teacher because I wasn't able to successfully compare the two.

As time has gone on though, as my practice has deepened, I have realised that as a teacher you have to develop your own answer; there are so many variations of Yoga and different schools of Pilates teaching so there is no cut and dry answer that you can give that will always be 100% correct. You have to know your truth, understand what your craft means to you and then the answer comes from there.

For me, the answer comes from their origins.

The Origins of Yoga

Yoga started thousands of years ago, as a spiritual practice that helped to calm the mind and benefit the body. Yoga was a mishmash of ideas and beliefs which began as an eight limbed path that contained enlightenment. As time went on the practice turned inwards and the purpose of yoga was to look inside the body to find and explore the spiritual-physical connections that bind us to our existence, our past and our future.

" It is in the Haṭhayoga texts and tradition that we can begin to see the gradual shift from seated-āsanas used primarily for meditation, to more complex non-seated āsanas including balancing postures and inversions utilized for bodily purification, to harness subtle energies in the body, and even for therapeutic aims ." (Powell, 2015)

Yoga has since blended and evolved into many different meanings and practices. There are different teachings, each with their own offerings; Hatha, Vinyasa, Iyenga, Ashtanga, Kundalini, Hot and Yin. Each type has it's own benefits and each person will experience their own path in a different way.

The Origins of Pilates

Pilates was born from Joseph Pilates, a man who turned from a sickly child into a boxer, gymnast and an athlete. Joseph was born in 1883 and lived his life with ailments such as asthma and chronic fatigue. At a young age he decided that he was going to dedicate his life to a practice that made him feel better and stronger. He was a self defence instructor for the army and whilst people were injured in their beds he created equipment and devices to enable them to exercise with resistance and help them move again.

Pilates soon began to develop his method of 'Contrology' which aimed to strengthen the whole body by targeting and isolating different muscles and not just concentrating on the larger muscle groups. He believed that most strength comes from our 'powerhouse' (what we would now describe as our core) which can aid in re-invigorating the body and in turn the mind. The method was functional and had no spiritual ties, the breath used was lateral thoracic so that the core would not be sacrificed for breathing (or vice versa).

When Pilates moved to the US he opened a studio where he and his wife Clara began to train the "elite"- dancers, athletes, actors and celebrities. The Pilates method grew in popularity and notoriety for delivering real results and long term health benefits. He trained many of the dancers at The New York City Ballet and it was here that his teachings and methods began to move to the next generation of teachers. As time went on the method of Pilates began to have a reputation as a "female" form of exercise (mainly due to the lineage of the teachers) however this could not be more wrong!

It is only in recent years however that top male athletes, basketball, football and rugby players are starting to realise the benefits to Pilates and using the method as a way to prevent injury, recover from injury, improve speed, agility and posture.

My Thoughts

In my opinion I think that the differences between Pilates and Yoga are quite significant, you will most likely have a completely different experience in each class;

Yoga has a definite focus on the breath leading movement and the poses often encourage full extension and range of movement.

Pilates has a higher focus on functional movement that is aided by breath and the movements are controlled and only aim to encourage alignment and stability.

Take the shoulder bridge as an example:

There are however major similarities between the two practices which as a result means that they compliment each other well.

They both serve as a mind-body form of exercise and are beneficial for not only physical health but mental wellbeing.

Generally they are both low impact which means they are accessible to everyone in one form or another.

They both aid in revitalising and invigorating the body through purposeful movement so you don't leave feeling depleted or lacking when you finish.

The best way to really understand the two and find your own truth about their differences and similarities is to give it a go! Find a class, try both out and decide for yourself.

Whichever it is that works for you, do it, embrace it, fall in love with it- it could honestly change your life.

If you still can't decide - do both! Find what you enjoy and give yourself some real self love, movement and time.

Just try not to say to the teacher; "Pilates and Yoga? Aren't they the same thing?!"

One Year No Beer! (or any alcohol in general)

Fri, 24 Apr 2020 20:19:54 GMT

�� O N E Y E A R ��

Last year I challenged myself to a year without alcohol. There was an end date to my not drinking & people accepted it pretty easily.

Once everyone got past the “could she be pregnant” idea, the questions stopped & everyone got on board.

Those closest to me & have spent time with me on a night out or a night in will know why I needed to do this.

The more time passed the more I assessed my relationship with alcohol and had to face some hard truths...

I was becoming chaotic, I have an addictive nature. I was using alcohol as a way out. I wasn’t approaching it in a healthy way. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t drinking every day or in the mornings, what did matter was that I was trying to escape & my relationship with alcohol was becoming damaging. I’ve been talking openly for so long about my eating disorder & the part it played in my life but I still struggle at times to talk about the fact that my drinking wasn’t ok.

Let’s face it, alcohol is the one drug that we encourage each other to take, we let our children have just a little sip on a special occasion, we toast with it, we mourn with it. So it feels almost shameful to say “I don’t drink anymore” or admit that I can’t seem to drink like normal people. There must be something inherently wrong with you if you can’t handle your booze, you must be an alcoholic.

Right!?

I’ve had to deal with all these thoughts and internal questions over the last year but if I started to doubt my decision I’d sit & think about the incredible things that have happened as a result of me not drinking; I am no longer taking anti-depression/anxiety medication for the first time in nearly 10 years. My relationships have got stronger and more honest. I feel positive. I finally feel proud of myself.

So it’s a year done, I can technically have a drink now right? I have the choice. But the thing is, I always had a choice.

There was nothing stopping me. But I’m better without it.

Will I ever drink again? I don’t know, I’m still afraid to put a label on myself for fear of letting myself down, there’s still some work to be done here, but for now at least, I’m staying sober & I don’t have any plans to change that ✌��

Happy New Year & FREE Pilates!

Wed, 08 Jan 2020 21:35:12 GMT

Is it too late to say Happy New Year? hope that the start of 2020 is treating you well?

How is January SO LONG?!

Anyway, I have some news. Those of you who have been with me for a while know that I have been running an online Pilates Membership in one form or another for the past 5/6 years. Most recently it has been in the form of Pilates on Demand.

At the start of this year I decided that I was fed up.

Fed up of the hundreds of shitty diet adverts covering our tv screens, people selling expensive programmes to prey on your insecurities and society in general spurring guilt and shame about "overdoing it" at Christmas.

So instead of getting mad, I decided to put a little bit of good out there.

So for a limited time this year

Pilates on Demand is FREE.

No need to sign up for anything, no memberships, nothing to pay. Just free online pilates videos from 5 minutes to 1 hour long. You officially have no excuse not to practice in between classes now! ;)

Head to the website and join in!

Reviews!

If any of you own your own businesses then you know how important reviews are. If you don't own your own business - reviews are really important!

SO IF YOU LOVE THE CLASSES HEAD TO GOOGLE, TYPE IN HEALTHY BALANCE WITH EMILY (OR CLICK THE WORD CLASSES) AND LEAVE A 5 STAR REVIEW!

ANOTHER WAY YOU CAN HELP SUPPORT IS BY REVIEWING MY PODCAST!

Podcast reviews are so vital in getting out there in the charts. No matter how you listen to them whether it be through Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Acast, etc you can help me to build a wonderful community of people by rating the podcast with 5 beautiful stars. You don't even have to type anything - easy as that.

LASTLY, YOU CAN HELP SUPPORT A SELF-PUBLISHED AUTHOR BY REVIEWING MY BOOK!

Without an agent, a marketing team, a huge online presence or a publisher the success of my book is dependent on people sharing it and spreading the word. I decided to self publish Stardust: Life, Love Laughter and Everything After a Mental Illness because talking about body image, peoples relationship with food and their bodies, eating disorders, depression and anxiety IS SO IMPORTANT. By sharing my story I hope to start the conversations around all these topics and let other people who may be struggling navigating through some of the issues that can surround them that they are not alone.

If you know of anyone who is struggling with or supporting someone with an eating disorder, addiciton, or other mental health illnesses then this book is a must read.

If you are a kindle unlimited customer then you can read the entire book for FREE too!

Head to Amazon to join in!

YOUR SUPPORT IS SO APPRECIATED SO THANK YOU IN ADVANCE.

Podcast.

Have you been keeping up with TRIBE TALK podcast ? This year there are even more incredible guests coming up and we'll be having even more inspiring conversations. I am really excited by this passion project so make sure to subscribe and get episodes as soon as they come out!

6 Months Sober & Nearly Medication Free

Fri, 25 Oct 2019 20:23:38 GMT

Well there’s a title I didn't think I’d write.

Let me start off by saying that this blog is going to be centering on my own experience of going sober (as are my previous posts); the reasons why are my own and the things that I have experienced due to stopping drinking are not universal.

So in April, for my 28th birthday I decided that I was going to go sober for a year. Did I think I would be able to do it? Probably not.

Do I think I can do it now? Maybe!

Deciding to quit drinking was something I had been considering for a while. Whilst the amount I drank wasn't anything out of the ordinary, my relationship with alcohol was starting to cause damage. I’m not sure if it is because I am someone who seems to follow patterns, get into routines very easily or whether I have an ‘addictive personality’, to be honest I’m not sure if I am truly sold on the addictive personality thing…However I do know that I can be very self destructive if I don’t check myself and my past struggles are only a testament to that.

Today marks 6 months without a drop to drink and despite the fact that I am currently suffering from some type of cold (fun times) I am pretty amazed at what I have managed to achieve so far.

Adios Anxiety

One of the biggest life changes so far is the mental clarity and strength I have found over the past 183 days. This has meant that I have been able to, with guidance from my doctor, slowly wean myself off of my anti-anxiety medication. For the first time in 8 years I have felt totally ready.

In the past I tried a couple of times to come off the medication but I either did it way too quick (hello withdrawal symptoms) or I didn’t take enough care of myself to manage without them. When I first decided that I was going to stop drinking for a year I knew that this would be a goal of mine. Something for me to focus on other than the fact that I was quitting the booze.

I went to my doctor to discuss finally getting off Sertraline a few weeks in and felt SO bloody smug replying ‘zero’ when he asked how much my alcohol intake was a week. I started gradually reducing my medication bit by bit, at first I was totally in my head and I think the fear of getting anxious actually gave me anxiety (!) so there were a couple of small panic attacks that stopped me in my tracks for a few days but I managed to bounce back quicker and kept my eyes on the prize.

Fast forward to today; I am on a half dose every other day and I only have 2 more tablets left, which will take me to Sunday. Then I’m done! I’m really excited to be medication free.

I don’t have a problem taking medication or having vaccinations. I’m not one of those people that doesn’t believe in science and proven fact, for example if there is something out there that is proven can cure illness or help to guard against then why not take it? Instead stopping medication is more of a personal achievement. I want to see if I can handle the stresses and strains of life with the new found knowledge and positivity that I have been building over the past few years.

More selfishly, I am pretty happy that I won’t have to pay £9 a prescription every couple of months and that hopefully I’ll FINALLY be able to get life insurance!!

Productivity, Focus and Generally Being a Boss Bitch

I have a clear head! I don’t wake up feeling totally out of it or riddled with anxiety or thoughts of “what did I do last night”. Since April my work life has changed pretty dramatically. I have had to cut down on classes due to no longer having a home studio, so the only teaching that I do is at halls and online. It opened up space in my day which I usually would feel powerless and stuck in. Having a fuzz free head I have been able to really focus on what I want, where I want to go and who I want to be ‘when I’m older’.

I am so confident in what I can do and after running my own business for the last 4 years I thought that I could never go back to a ‘normal job’ because I couldn’t stand other people telling me what to do! I decided to begin doing some contracting work for a great company in Cheltenham, it means that I have a regular income to rely on but also given me the opportunity to get creative again; designing, writing and organising. I feel like I can breathe again, without a huge weight on my back. I’m developing skills and confidence and at the moment it seems to be really working for me. It also means that I feel like i’m providing for my family again, instead of struggling every single month and relying on Alan to bring the money in, I feel like I’m really contributing to our life again which is such a big thing for me. The boss bitch is back!

I also have absolutely ZERO problem getting up in the morning and feeling ready to start the day. I have been tired for the past 8 years and that honestly is no exaggeration. I had to have at least one nap a day and I'd have 3 if I could get away with it. At first I really struggled with my energy levels, it really got me down because I had hoped that coming off my medication would suddenly boost my energy but instead I felt like I needed to sleep more than ever. Slowly, ever so slowly (and i’m talking the last 2 weeks) my naps have decreased and this week so far I haven’t had a single afternoon nap!

Puppy Love

Apart from when I’ve been a little off colour I have always wanted to get out with Dexter. Getting out in nature, no matter what the weather, has been totally refreshing. Getting a puppy at a similar time as going sober was such a happy accident. Dexter keeps me active, keeps me smiling, keeps me motivated. It has been an absolute blessing getting a dog and our house really does feel like a home. I haven’t had to cheat on my Fitbit to get to 10,000 steps every day (not that I did that anyway…ahem..) I’ve met some great people that I see each day and Alan and I go out for walks together and talk about our days. It’s been amazing. I never knew that I could love an animal as much as I do Dexter (don’t tell my cats) he really has completed our family.

There have been so many great outcomes of being sober, too many to list at this moment but I am so thankful and so grateful and also, super bloody proud of myself too. No matter what happens I have got this far and that really is something for me to celebrate.

2 Months, 24 Days

Thu, 18 Jul 2019 20:16:25 GMT

So I have this app which is called “I am Sober” which is a free downloadable app where you can track whatever you are trying to quit and it gives you daily motivation, calculates how much you are saving as well as reminding you to pledge to your abstinence each day and then check in at the end of each day.

Me being a box ticking kind of girl, I love it. I like to see the days rack up one by one and if I ever have moments where I think, “hmm maybe I’ll just have a glass” I am reminded that I will break my streak and then have to start all over again. Counting days really helps me, I know to others it doesn’t so this app probably isn’t for everyone but for me I have always found that keeping myself accountable in this way really works.

So I’m pretty much 6 days away from being sober for 3 months at this point and honestly it really does feel so much longer. Not so much because I’ve been finding things difficult but because it just feel so normal. Not drinking feels so right. I still have 15 days till I get to the 100 day mark which is meant to be when things really get better but honestly, I think I’m pretty much there.

Something that helps is the fact that my husband isn’t really a drinker and some of my best friends are pregnant and/or take it or leave it kind of people. Our socialisation isn’t dependent on alcohol and the other evening we went out with one of our best couple friends for a meal at the pub and just spend hours laughing and chatting. I don’t think that one of us looked at our phone once. They are pregnant so therefore not drinking and we had a slightly awkward moment of us all ordering soft drinks before our meals but that was quickly shunned away by the fact that we all just have so much in common and so much to talk about and we don’t need to be lubricated or inebriated to have a good time together.

My relationship with my husband is also better. I have been going through an utter shit time with my business and facing money issues that I’d usually just numb with a bottle or two of wine. However not having that escape from reality as an option to me has meant that I have been able to deal with all the emotions fully raw but also to approach solutions clear headed and realistically. I am in no way out of the woods and I still feel very much stuck in my work life however I have a plan which I’ve been able to communicate with my husband and we’ve had grown up, considered conversations. It is so bloody refreshing!!

I feel so much better in many ways and I’ll most likely do a post to write them all out but for now, I have to deal with a smelly dog who seems unable to stop farting. Seriously, my house smells like gone off egg. On the plus side, if I need to fart at least I can blame it on him!

The Joys of Alcohol Free Drinks

Fri, 14 Jun 2019 20:13:10 GMT

So I know many people who are trying to quit drinking avoid anything alcohol related; drinks, pubs, clubs etc. However for me, at the moment, alcohol free drinks are totally helping me to not only stay sober, but also how most “normal” people approach their favourite tipple.

If I bought a bottle of wine then inside I kind of resigned myself to the fact that I would drink the whole thing, plus another one possibly. I honestly did not see the point in drinking unless it was to get drunk, or tipsy at least. I mean, what’s the point of wasting all those calories without some inebriation?! In fact, on the weekends if we were to have a drink with our dinner I would be annoyed if I didn’t get fuzzy. I would eat less to feel it more. I would most probably opt to fill our glasses up in the kitchen so that I could give myself more than my husband, because (I reasoned to myself) he wasn’t bothered about having a drink in the first place, he wouldn’t care if he didn’t get tipsy, he doesn’t really like wine and is only drinking because I suggested it, it was my idea in the first place anyway. I bought the wine….technically it was only fair. It didn’t matter that I’d already had one sneaky glass while I was cooking the meal..everyone does that!

Yes. All those ridiculous justifications would play out in my head like a bloody broken record. I made as many excuses as I could just so that I could have that bit more.

Funnily enough, usually I find it uncomfortable having more in relation to anyone else. A ghost of my disordered eating past perhaps, that likes to float in whenever I’m serving up and spookily whispers in my ear; “you can’t eat more than a boy” or “you don’t need as much food on your plate as they do”. This ghost doesn’t bother me much, it likes to creep around but largely, I’ve managed to create a very effective anti-ghost barrier which just bounces it away most of the time.

But I digress.

Anyway, since banning the bottle I have tested out alcohol free beer, wine and champagne and I can honestly tell you that they taste about one million times better than the poison that I would usually reach for. Sure, I don’t get the fuzz or shut myself off from myself anymore (which was usually the end goal for me) but I also don’t feel the need to drink copious amounts of the stuff. Instead, I just enjoy it! I don’t overload my belly with liquid and constantly need to pause whatever we are watching to pee. I don’t fall asleep on the sofa, or blackout from whatever we’re watching on tv. I am able to just “be” and to enjoy one or two glasses of something that tastes slightly adult-ish without feeling any kind of ‘need’ or chasing any sort of feeling.

Weirdly though, I do still feel kind of guilty about sitting with a glass of something while my husband just sits.Perhaps that is just because I am so familiar with feeling this way, perhaps it’s because I choose to drink out of fancy wine glasses and champagne flutes like a tosser? No idea.

What I do know though is that I am now over the halfway mark to 100 AF days and feeling rather smug and satisfied.

Sober Spice

Wed, 12 Jun 2019 20:08:08 GMT

On Monday night my sisters and I took my oldest niece to the Spice World concert in Bristol.

We went to their last reunion concert 11 years ago when my sister was pregnant with her first so when the opportunity came up to go and see them in concert (minus Victoria) we decided that we had to go for it.

The English weather did not disappoint and it was POURING, thank god for our seats being up in the stands so we kept dry and semi warm! What totally surprised me though, which I don’t remember from last time was the sheer amount of drunk women surrounding us.

I’m not sure if it is because when I was 17 I wasn’t really bothered about people acting totally ridiculous and off their rockers or perhaps back then the fans were mostly made up of people that supported them the first time around so the age range was mainly older women and not so vast. Whatever the reason for me noticing this time around, I was astounded by the behaviour and frankly, it made me kind of disappointed.

Now I am totally not talking about the people who had one or two drinks, who kept to themselves and didn’t spill drinks over anyone. I’m talking about the under 20’s who were so hammered they didn’t feel the freezing cold and rain on their skin despite wearing barely more than a thin dress. The girls who were stumbling around and kicking drinks over for the people around them to dodge and guard their bags and coats from. What I don’t understand is why you’d choose to pay £60+ for a ticket to then get so drunk that you barely remember the show. I know that if I focussed on drinking during the concert I would have missed songs, had to pee a million times and annoyed everyone around me by squeezing past them to get to the bathroom.

Reflecting on it, I think that it is a real shame that people chose to do that. The Spice Girls’ whole mantra is ‘Girl Power’; women supporting women, being strong, being confident, being brave and being empowered. Drunk girls dressed in skimpy replica outfits with their arses hanging out, their makeup smudged and unable to string a sentence together doesn’t seem to align with any of that to me. The Spice Girls were the girl group of the 90s that were all about having fun, being sexy without going overboard, promoting the feminine without hating on men. They weren’t provocative, they weren’t constantly papped for being drunk or going to rehab or getting arrested. They were the ultimate girl group to me and still are.

I am so glad that I went back to see them 11 years later and that I was able to do so feeling really clear headed and wasn’t afraid to dance and sing like no one was watching – embracing the spice girl in me once more and I know that on Monday if I was a Spice Girl I would totally be Sober Spice!

6 Weeks Sober

Wed, 05 Jun 2019 20:02:11 GMT

When I first decided to go on my sober journey I had every intention to document it all...

The highs and the lows and to post every day so that perhaps one day I could culminate it all together and make it into something.

To be honest, at first I found it almost too easy. I kept busy, ate meals and tried to distract myself as best I could. Dexter being a crazy loon of a puppy has definitely meant that I haven’t been short of distractions that’s for sure! The thing is, because I wasn’t struggling I didn’t really feel like there was any point in writing about it.

We picked up Dexter, I carried on running my business and life moved on as normal. At my one month sober mark we had a housewarming party and invited our huge clan of a family and some friends. The sun was shining and while the kids played my husband tended to the BBQ and I made sure everyones drinks were topped up and people were happy.

I drank a bottle of alcohol free beer and sipped on Pepsi max very happily. Taking in the world around me and laughing as the children wore out the puppy.

I had a couple of milliseconds where I thought ‘ I could have a drink here and no one would notice’ but they quickly melted away soon enough. I was so happy to wake up the next morning feeling completely fuzzy head free and slightly smug when I saw my sister in law definitely feeling the hangover from the night before!

I discovered that non alcoholic champagne is actually REALLY yummy and I actually prefer it to normal champagne!

Non alcoholic champagne has actually been my saviour recently, although the first month was a breeze the two weeks after that were certainly more challenging.

Between constantly struggling with sleep, feeling stressed with business and trying to decorate the house there were many moments where all I wanted was to switch my brain off with a glass of wine or three. I resisted and sat with those feelings, felt totally rubbish for a while and when the crap cloud eventually passed I went straight back to feeling smug that I was still sober.

So 6 weeks sober and still completely sure of my decision, each issue I come across is even more reason to keep getting through each day!

Bossing Bank Holiday

Tue, 07 May 2019 19:57:36 GMT

I am now 2 bank holidays down as a sober bird. I didn’t really think about it until Sunday afternoon at our friends house when they cracked open the wine at dinner.

They knew that I had decided to cut our alcohol so my best friends boyfriend asked, “You’re not drinking are you Em?” I replied ‘No’ really easily. I didn’t even concentrate on the fact that my husband and our friends were drinking, it didn’t really even cross my mind. What I did think about very briefly was that 27 year old me would have a glass of wine (or two) then I would have insisted that we pick up another bottle (possibly two) on the way home because “It’s Bank Holiday Monday tomorrow!”.

Instead I stuck with water, felt totally present in our conversations and flew on a natural high after an absolutely epic day!

On Saturday I woke up, fuzzy free and went to pick up my sister so we could go for a walk in Painswick. She is training for the Cotswold Way challenge and I decided that as my husband was working in the morning I could use it as the opportunity to get out in the fresh air and enjoy feeling so clear.

Sunday was one of the best days of my life. We went over to Winchcombe to meet a lady who had a litter of 14(!) Irish Doodle puppies. I think we both were pretending that there was the chance that we would leave without picking a puppy but I think everyone can guess that that didn’t happen!! We wanted to look at the boys so we arrived and were quickly greeted with TEN little doodles who just wanted to cuddle, jump and chew on us. I was in actual heaven! I was so in love with them all. I just wanted to take every single puppy home with me. It took us pretty much an hour to choose because they all looked very similar at first so we took the time to see which one stood out. There were 2 front runners, one was a lot more ginger with a slightly less curly coat and the other was a bit fatter with white eyebrows and a curly coat. We decided on the little ginger one (because dogs have to look like their owners right!?) and we were quite happy we made the right choice especially when the white eyebrowed puppy began to growl at all the others trying to get the most food at feeding time! It was very funny

We decided on Dexter as his name which we later found out was actually his grandfathers name! What are the chances!

I have wanted to get a puppy for the longest time now and I remember thinking, during one of my last alcohol induced panic attacks at 3am in the morning, that I can’t drink and have these attacks if we ever get a puppy. As I lay there sweating and freezing cold trying to just focus on being able to breathe I imagined having to look after a needy puppy and this moment was one of the contributing factors that made me decide to start this journey.

I can’t wait to HAVE to get up and go out for walks, to have something that is dependent on me, that will be by my side and need me to be completely switched on and clear headed. I also can’t wait to be loved by a dog – I’ve heard it’s amazing.

So Dexter will be my sober support over the next year and I have never been so excited!

Trading in a fuzzy head and anxious tummy for Cotswold walks and belly laughs

Sat, 04 May 2019 19:53:40 GMT

So to celebrate my second sober weekend I decided to support my oldest sister with her training for a challenge that she’s taking on in June.

My sister is walking 100km (about 62miles) of the Cotswold Way non stop from Bath to Cheltenham to raise money for Sue Ryder, an amazing charity that helps people at the end of their lives or going through a terminal illness.

She regularly takes her oldest dog for long jaunts around the countryside but today as she was doing a meagre 7.7 miles I decided what better way to ring in my second sober weekend than to get up early, pick her up and drive over to Painswick ready to embark on a very hilly walk.

Luckily we had a wonderful morning for it and even though I don’t think I have walked more than 3 miles in ages…if ever at all…I had one of the best mornings I’ve had in a very long time. We walked and talked and nearly made each other wet ourselves with laughter.

The best part? I could fully appreciate it all. I wasn’t anxious or finding it difficult to breathe after a night on the wine. I wasn’t fed up and wanting it to be over as quick as possible so that I could go home and hide under my duvet until dinner or an acceptable time came around which meant I could open a bottle of wine.

Instead I took it all in. The beautiful countryside, the nature, the birds singing and the peacefulness of it all. We saw deer, we met strangers and talked with them, we found beautiful babbling brooks and beautiful wiers. I didn’t even have to think about anxiety or feeling less than great or worrying whether I’d even be able to make the walk.

It was me and my sister (and her little dog) and we explored and talked and laughed as only sisters can.

I am so grateful today that I haven’t had a drink since I decided to stop, I am so happy to actually be able to be present and to feel alive.

Near the end of our walk we were looking out for a turn past a house called Primrose cottage. I told my oldest sister; “just make sure you keep your areolas peeled”.

She looked at me in horror and asked me to repeat what I had just said.

With sheer confidence I responded; “you know, keep your beady areolas peeled”

She had to physically stop walking to laugh and cross her legs while trying to explain to me that I definitely didn’t mean areolas.

She was right. I definitely didn’t mean to say areolas instead of eyes/irises….I think you’d probably get arrested if you walked around the Cotswold countryside with your areolas out!!

Another One Bites The Dust

Fri, 03 May 2019 19:47:17 GMT

Another sober Friday completed.

To be honest I have been expecting way more resistance than I have experienced. I have had maybe one or two moments where I wish I could get a bottle of wine in, usually when I’m watching a crap reality TV show where they have lots of money and a life of champagne and hard liquor.

I listened to a hypnosis by Craig Beck called ‘Quit Drinking Forever’ on my birthday so I’m not sure whether that has played some kind of part or whether I am just concentrating on other things and enjoying the fact that I am fuzzy head free when I wake up.

I joined a Facebook group; Be Sober – Quit Drinking and Enjoy Life. It is full of men and women who want to be or have been sober anywhere from 1 day to 10+ years and it is absolutely amazing. I’m only really dipping my toe in every now and then, offering support when I can, posting every so often.

I honestly feel like I haven’t got the brain capacity to do much at the moment though. I am so friggin tired, I have a nap at least once a day, two if i can get away with it. I had hoped to keep a better log of my sober diaries and share the pearls of wisdom as I went through my first few weeks of soberhood. However, so far I am just too shattered to do or say anything much. I know I have low folic acid which causes me to be tired and like a fool I haven’t been taking any tablets for it which perhaps explains my propensity to sleep….

Thought of the day: putting the bins out without hearing the clink or bottles is brilliant.

Sober Dreams

Tue, 30 Apr 2019 19:43:49 GMT

So I’ve heard a lot about people having using dreams when they are trying to abstain from alcohol or a similar addictive substance. It’s quite common to dream that you get drunk, you may be enjoying yourself or it may be a nightmare but then ultimately you wake up feeling guilty and conflicted.

So I’ve heard a lot about people having using dreams when they are trying to abstain from alcohol or a similar addictive substance. It’s quite common to dream that you get drunk, you may be enjoying yourself or it may be a nightmare but then ultimately you wake up feeling guilty and conflicted.

According to Club Soda “Being drunk in a dream may show that you feel irresponsible or out-of-control in waking life. It could represent careless behaviour, a lack of awareness, or not thinking clearly. Being intoxicated could directly reflect a problem with drinking too much, or indirectly mean something else about your day-to-day life. If you used to drink alcohol to relax, or still do, it might mean that you are feeling stressed or over-worked. If drinking means celebration to you, it might mean you are going through a major life event. You may also need a break or some relaxation.”

So what the f**k does a sober dream mean?!

For the past few nights I have especially vivid sober dreams. I often remember most of my dreams and bore my husband to death telling him all about them so being able to recall my dreams in clear detail isn’t uncommon for me.

The first dream I had I was in an old warehouse, I was with someone that I have only ever interviewed online and never met in person, however this man has had a profound effect on my life and is one of the main reasons that I decided to take myself on this journey into sobriety. I was preparing for a performance and M was encouraging me to go for it, I stood on stage ready to practice and started the singing and dancing number as he looked on. I suddenly became very aware of the people behind me who were smashing the routine and couldn’t concentrate properly on my own movements causing me to mess up and walk off stage. “I can’t do it” I said, “I’m not good enough”. As I went to leave the warehouse I bumped into Will Smith (?) and a giant of a man who pulled me towards him and gave me a huge cuddle, one of those hugs that lift you up and hold you tight. I felt safe. Then the police arrived and Will Smith said he couldn’t be seen there so I ran off to distract the people hunting us and lead them away from the warehouse.

The second dream was the one I had last night. I was at my Nan’s house and I was completely sober, covered in glitter and there was some kind of event. I think I could be hosting a party but then again I’m not too sure. What I do remember however was the morning after, I was standing outside the front of the house and couldn’t remember anything that had happened, I suddenly worried that I had got drunk without realising. One of the people with me joked that they often blacked out when drunk and that I was the life of the party and everyone had fun. “But I don’t drink” I said, “I didn’t touch a drop”.

With both dreams I have woken up refreshed and revitalised. I have felt happy and not confused or conflicted. I have no idea if my brain is currently trying to process things or if they are just meaningless dreams but I have always been fascinated by what my brain (literally) dreams up!

Has anyone else had sober dreams?

In other news today has been another great day. Although I had a client cancel I came home, went for a walk and got dinner ready for my husband. Normally if my day frees up I might think, “better make the most of it” grab a bottle or two of wine and be one bottle down by the time he gets home. I wasn’t even tempted today. I just enjoyed the sunshine and got excited about the evening ahead. Getting through day 7 and being nearly a week sober is so refreshing. I know that I’ve gone weeks, even months without a drink before and I don’t think i’ve ever drank 7 days in a row (apart from when I went travelling) but this just feels different. I don’t feel deprived or lacking, instead I feel like instead of filling up the glass I am filling up my life.

Sweet sober dreams xx

Thank F*** it's Friday?

Fri, 26 Apr 2019 19:38:58 GMT

I’m on day 2, night 3 of 365. That’s depressing.

Perhaps I should just focus on the one day at a time view instead? This obviously isn’t my first sober Friday night, however it is the first Friday since I decided to stop drinking which makes it feel a little bit more of a full stop.

After a somewhat underwhelming homemade curry (I added too much passada) I feel totally unsatisfied. It’s possible that I am still hungry but what I would normally do is just pour a glass of wine. Not because it tastes good. It doesn’t taste good half the time. But because I chase the slightly blurry feeling that I get. I can ‘switch off’ and ‘relax’ and the fact that it fills me up and I don’t have to eat any more is just a bonus! So here I am on a Friday night, sitting in with my husband and wishing the shit hot chocolate that I made for myself had something better in it, something that made me more fuzzy.

I feel like this is purely a habitual urge however, I don’t particularly want a drink, I just feel as though I am missing something. Something that pathetically puffing on a shit tasting, unsatisfying vape can’t fill. I feel pretty alone, even though my husband isn’t drinking, actually if I was sitting here with a glass of wine or rum in hand it would make me the one breaking the mould. I’d be the one slowly drinking myself into a stupor until I get so sleepy I either fall asleep on the sofa or announce that I’m going to bed at 8pm.

So instead of heading to the shop for a glass of wine I am forcing myself to sit here and feel the feelings of discomfort. Just as I had to do during my ED treatment. Riding the crave wave and knowing that when it feels the hardest to resist that I am at the crest, everything that follows after will pale in comparison.

If anyone has any Friday night tips I’d love to hear about them!?

My First Sober Birthday

Thu, 25 Apr 2019 19:35:31 GMT

So yesterday was my first sober birthday since I was probably about 16 and you know what? I loved it.

I still remember the first drunken birthday; I was living in Malvern and my best friend Amy was just down the hill from me, so in the morning before school I wandered down and we went into her room where I was greeted with a birthday card, a packet of cigarettes and 2 bottles of WKD. We drank the lot before walking to school slightly squiffy and I felt like such a badass. From then on me and Amy almost entered into almost a competition with each other, to see who could get the other as drunk as possible on their birthday before walking to school together. We snuck bottles of vodka and orange in water bottles which we’d drink on our lunch breaks and smoke cigarettes in the alley opposite the school. On one of our 18th’s we ended up hiding in the sixth form common room from our head of year, giggling after both being too drunk to even speak in class that day and getting our friends to cover for us. Once you’re in sixth form every birthday meant that the whole common room was plastered in photos of you from various parties, if your friends were nice they would only include at least a couple of photos where you looked good in the mele of pissed and embarrassing pictures.

I look back at those early days with such fond memories; I was surrounded by people that I loved so much, that made me feel accepted and amazing. I was totally myself and lived for the weekend; drunken nights out in the parks, camping in random places, feeling attractive and kissing boys (and perhaps some girls too).

Those fond memories stretched past school and into my gap year in Australia. I spent nights out with strangers, drank goon and danced on beaches, met great people who became firm friends and slept under the stars.

In my early 20’s however alcohol started to effect me in a negative way more often than not. My eating disorder was starting to become unmanageable and was slowly taking over my life bit by bit and alcohol started to accompany it as a way to escape the world. I’d drink to avoid eating before a night out and it all came to a head on my 21st birthday when I started drinking at some point after midday, started getting ready with a couple more vinos until I ended up at my party before everyone else absolutely hammered.

In my drunken mind there should have been people there already but apart from my sister and my mum, my best friend and I were the only ones there. I immediately sank into a drunken temper tantrum, crying my tan and eyelashes off (literally),proclaiming that everyone hates me and I didn’t have any friends! It took a trip to the chip shop with my mum and eldest sister, a lot of swearing and horrific statements from me and my sister shouting at me for me to finally go back to my party. My friend tried to fix my makeup as best she could as I downed another glass of wine, put my happy face on and proceeded to drink more and celebrate my birthday surrounded by family and friends, looking like a reverse panda.

You’d have thought that I would have learnt from that night and thought that perhaps alcohol wasn’t for me, but it’s taken me another 7 years to make the decision to finally attempt a whole year without alcohol.

So what does a sober birthday look like? Well I woke up, fresh faced and hangover free to a kiss and a card from my long suffering husband. I saw my family, played football with my dad and my sisters dogs, smiled, drank two hot chocolates, had a nap, taught my evening Pilates class and came home to the most incredible steak dinner. We sat together and watched TV and then had a reasonable bed time and I slept through, without having to wake up in the middle of the night to gulp water or in the middle of a panic attack or night sweats.

I woke up the next morning not worrying about what I said, knowing who I talked to, who had wished me happy birthday and who had bought me what. I felt refreshed and relaxed and looking forward to the day ahead with a clear head.

So Here Goes….

Wed, 24 Apr 2019 19:15:13 GMT

Edit your life frequently and ruthlessly. It’s your masterpiece after all.

OK,

So here’s the question..

Do I have a problem with alcohol? Or worse, am I an alcoholic? Do I even need to ask myself that question just because I am considering banning the bottle from my life?

There’s such a stigma with people who cannot handle their relationship with alcohol, like they are the ones that are the ones to be seen as the problem.

Not the alcohol.

It’s funny, the rest of society would never turn around and use heroin or cocaine or any other drug as a normal day to day drug. Mums on the school run would never say “Oh it’s been one of those days when a line is just the thing that I need”. Offices wouldn’t promote cocaine after work to be sociable. We wouldn’t feel inclined to get high at a wedding or gurn at a funeral together.

But alcohol, that is a different matter entirely..It is ok. It is acceptable.

If you don’t drink in this day and age you are in the minority. You are one of the 20% that chooses not to drink. You are an outsider. You are someone who ends up becoming the topic of conversation because “Kelly doesn’t drink”. People look at your sober status and judge immediately because they feel like if you’re not drinking you automatically judge everyone else who does.

I don’t drink every day. I don’t drink in the mornings (apart from on holiday, Christmas or the kind of occasion when a prosecco and orange juice is acceptable- like everyone else right?) I don’t go out clubbing – that lost it’s appeal when I was about 22 and instead I chose to sit in, in my pjs with a glass of wine instead. I probably drink about the same as a “normal” adult? On average perhaps 3/4 bottles of wine a week and then every now and then me and the husband will get a bottle of rum.

So why bother to stop?

Well, while my alcohol consumption could be classed as ( I believe ) normal, I don’t feel like my reaction to it, or relationship with it is something that really benefits me in any way. I suffer with anxiety which is always exacerbated after a night of drinking, so much so that more often than not I will end up finding it hard to breathe or waking up at 3 in the morning, sweating and in the midst of a full blown panic attack. Not only do I have the “beer fear” but I also find myself wondering what I said or did whilst drunk. I blackout even after just a couple of glasses of wine and it goes from completely aware and ‘in-control’ to ‘what the fuck’ real quick.

Instead of using and abusing alcohol to commiserate a bad day, to celebrate a great day, to lubricate social events and escape feelings of discomfort I have decided that I need to become fully present and start showing up clear headed and bright-eyed in life.

Today is my birthday, I am officially 28 years old. I woke up hangover free to my long suffering husband getting ready for work, who gave me my birthday card and a kiss. Inside he wrote that I was an ‘amazing woman’ which I feel is somewhat undeserved but I love him and I am just grateful that he loves me back.

I decided a few months ago that I wanted to go sober for my 28th year on this planet, I was scared to tell people, I guess I still am. Perhaps it is the fear of failure that is stopping me from announcing my self imposed challenge to everyone around me? Perhaps I am scared to get a label stamped on my back, right next to the one that says “used to have an eating disorder”. Either way I know inside that this is something that I need to do for me, for my husband, for my family and for my business. I don’t doubt that it could be really hard, but then again, the harder it is the more that it confirms that it’s something that will benefit my life.

I have been doing a lot of research and listening to podcasts, audiobooks by Clare Pooley, Catherine Grey and speaking to an amazing man called Michael Maisey who is one of the key people that has inspired me to do this. I will try to document this journey as much as possible to keep me accountable and help me to stay on track.

All I have had in my head this morning is the guy from Mulan with the long moustache saying “Day One” as Mulan and the recruits are all training.

Even if no one reads this I’m hoping that it will help me to not feel so alone. After all one of the first people I told immediately asked me If I was planning to get pregnant which immediately made me realise that I will perhaps not get the most support from those around me!

So here it goes!

P.s No i’m not trying to get pregnant.

I'm crushing on coconut oil!

Mon, 13 Aug 2018 15:04:03 GMT

Find out how coconut oil can benefit your health

One of my new found favourites is a big old jar of organic virgin coconut oil. More and more we are seeing healthier oil alternatives to cook with and coconut oil is high up there but did you know that there is so much more that you can do with coconut oil beyond cooking?

This week i've listed my personal favourite uses and why they're so great - have you given any of these a go?

COOKING

I absolutely LOVE using coconut oil when I cook. It is great for stir frys but also SO tasty if you roast vegetables in it. It will take your dinners to another level.

Experts were quick to class coconut oil as a "superfood" but is the food industry jumping on this purely so that they can charge more for it? Below are just some of the benefits of swapping your vegetable/sunflower oil for something more natural.

Coconut oil is high in healthy saturated fats - these have real health benefits that differ from most of the other fats that appear in your diet. They can actually boost fat burning, provide your body and brain with quick energy as well as raise good HDL cholesterol in your blood which can reduce the risk of heart disease.

Here's the sciency bit: Most fats in the diet are called long-chain triglycerides, but the fats in coconut oil are known as medium-chain triglycerides (MCTs) which basically means that the fatty acids are shorter. MCTs go straight to the liver to be used as a quick source of energy or turned into keytones.

Keytones have some amazing benefits - they positively affect the brain (and are currently being studied for reducing the symptoms of epilepsy, Alzheimer’s and other brain related disease) they also can help in reducing hunger which can aid in weight loss.

TEETH WHITENING

Yep, you read that right! Before my wedding I really wanted to get brighter, whiter teeth. I had heard years ago of coconut oil pulling but never really fancied trying it. After briefly looking at professional teeth whitening and almost fainting at the price(!) I opened my cupboard, grabbed a spoonful and popped it in my mouth!

Just as a side note: it is WIERD and will take some getting used to!

Oil pulling has actually been around for thousands of years and is the process of swishing oil around the mouth ( a bit like mouthwash ) for 15-20 minutes.

The main benefits are that it reduces the amount of harmful bacteria in the mouth which can aid in improved dental health and reduce bad breath, gum inflammation, gingivitis and cavities. But the whitening is a real bonus and is the easiest way to brighten your smile.

So much so that my husband kept commenting on how white my teeth had got!

MAKE UP REMOVAL & SKIN CARE

A lot of high street makeup removers are alcohol based which can irritate and dry out the skin. Others that are oil based can block pores and cause breakouts. I don't wear much make up and often spend my days make up free - partly because every time I put make up on and then used remover to take it off the next couple of days I'd be fighting with spots and partly because I am the ultimate lazy girl!

On the occasions that I do wear make up I get a small teaspoon of coconut oil and slather it all over my face. It is better than any other eye makeup/makeup remover I have ever used and because of it's anti-bacterial properties it leaves your skin feeling really clean and healthy.

All you need to do is apply the oil, rub it in and then wash it off with warm water and a clean flannel. Finish by splashing your face with cold water. You can do this to cleanse your face as well.

To use coconut oil as an exfoliant all you need to do if melt some coconut oil to room temperature and mix together with brown sugar (you don't want to dissolve the sugar). Use the mixture to gently exfoliate your face and then wash off in the shower or using warm water and a clean flannel. Finish by splashing your face with cold water. Your skin will be glowing!

LUSH LOCKS

There's a surge in shampoos and conditioners containing coconut oil because the beauty industry have realised the many benefits of it. However a lot of hair products claiming to be 'colour safe' or 'conditioning' contain sulphate which takes the colour out of your hair and can also dry it out by stripping out the natural oils.

I have found the most INCREDIBLE hair products that are sulphate free and enriched with natural ingredients. But if you want to pamper your hair you can use coconut oil to really give it a treat.

Deep Conditioning: Coconut oil is more effective when penetrating hair (and prevent protein loss) than mineral and sunflower oil so it is great to use as an overnight hair mask. Use a tablespoon of coconut oil to your hair and comb it through then place in a loose bun or ponytail. You'll need to wrap your hair up in a towel or use a shower cap to protect your pillow case. Then in the morning wash your hair as normal with a cleansing shampoo.

Tame Frizz & Shine: Use coconut oil on towel dry hair by using a very small teaspoon sized amount for a smooth & polished look. It can also give your hair protection from heat styling tools like straighteners & curling tongs.

Ditch the Dandruff: Don't spend your hard earned money on special shampoos and conditioners try using coconut oil first! Heat 2 or 3 tablespoons of oil over a low flame. Once it liquifies make sure it isn't too hot and then massage the oil into your scalp. If you have any leftover oil, you can use it to coat the rest of your hair. Leave it on for 30 minutes and then wash it out with shampoo.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Are you already a coconut oil convert or has this post opened up a whole new world of possibilities?

Em x

I do, but I wont - getting through the wedding diet hype

Sat, 07 Jul 2018 08:43:42 GMT

On April 24th 2016 the love of my life got down on one knee, opened a bag of Haribo that had a beautiful engagement ring inside and asked me to "be his wife one day".

"YES"

What I wasn't quite expecting in the next couple of years during the lead up to the wedding, was the amount of pressure that surrounded me as a "bride to be", especially the incessant voice in my head telling me to slim down for the wedding.

For the first year of my engagement I wasn't too bothered- we weren't having a major day and instead chose to run off to Italy with out nearest and dearest to save on cost and stress. We also decided to do all the fun stuff (the reception) the week after back in England so that we could properly celebrate with everyone. Plus it meant that I could wear my dress twice - therefore I technically got it for half price as I wore it more than once(great as I had just quit my job and become self employed for the first time!). I was in a great place physically. I had finally found my freedom with food and I was no longer worrying about counting calories or eating "healthy" all of the time. I did however still have a nagging doubt in my head that I needed to look different. I needed to be skinner and more toned in order to be happy in the body that I was in.

I ignored it though, thinking that self love would prevail and that I would be able to just do it. No worrying needed. Just get on with it. Tell yourself you love you and it'll be fine.

The first few months it was fine, I was so happy in the stage of life that I was in that it overcame any other emotion, I was ok to be the size and shape that I was and I loved the work I did and the way that I could help people.

But,I didn't really love the skin that I was in.

That was ok though, no one really does right?

I carried on, feeling slightly uncomfortable in who I was and I still didn't love the skin that I was in.

'But I'm getting married! I have finally found someone that loves me, for me!'

It didn't matter. I still didn't love the skin that I was in.

As it often does, life carries on. I soon forgot about the impeding nuptials and instead started focussing more and more on my business. In fact, anyone talking about the wedding would infuriate me. It literally bugged me talking about my big day. Perhaps not what I had imagined, but every single time the wedding was brought up I would feel sick, not because of the commitment or the being in front of a lot of people, but because I kept seeing this image of a bride in my head that I just couldn't become.

I went through my wedding dress fittings without any issue. I found my dream dress at Boho Bride on the first appointment that I made but waited for a few more visits at other bridal shops to make sure it was the one. I never really had so much of opinion on how I looked in the dress, more so how the dress itself looked. It was truly freeing.

I still looked on others to certify my opinions though - hoping someone would cry when I stepped out in "THE dress", waiting for someone to say "it was made for you", imagining feeling like a princess. None of that came though. The movies had let me down once again. I was going through such a mix of emotions on how it should be and how it was, how I should feel and how I did. There's no guide book on life and even though I knew this I thought that surely every persons wedding experience would be the same?

At one point someone asked me what I was doing to "prepare" for my wedding day. I said; "well we need to sort out the straw bales and the decorations for back in England." etc etc...

Then they said; "No, but what are you doing to get ready for THE dress!?"

I took a pause and thought.

You know what? I'm not really doing anything, I'm not focussing on how "thin" I am going to look on my wedding day. Instead I am going to concentrate on marrying the man of my dreams and focus on working with my clients, doing Pilates daily and eating food that I enjoy - I never wanted to spent the time worrying about diets and cleanses and shit like that. I have worked hard enough to feel FREE.

It wasn't until about a month before my wedding that my feelings caught up with my brain and I had my first panic. I had literally done NOTHING to prepare for my wedding day, apart from teaching I hadn't worked out in weeks (read months). I hadn't sought to tone up or slim down and suddenly I realised that if I ever did want to do anything my time was fast depleting. I had about a day of proper meltdown; feeling low, avoiding my feelings and not talking about it, which of course made it all so much worse. I ended up in my husband-to-be's arms, crying, feeling like I was a huge failure and convinced that I would end up looking awful.

"What is it that you're worrying about?" he asked.

Good question. What was I worrying about?

I had been trying so hard to ignore how I felt and becoming more and more bogged down in the feeling that I hadn't really addressed why I felt the way I did.

As with any problem I had I started to write; I put down on paper every single thought that was in my head and suddenly realised that I was chasing something that was not only stressing me out but was physically impossible. In my head when I thought about a 'bride' I imagined a tall 6-foot-something glamorous, skinny gazelle, tanned, toned and sexy. Gliding down the isle as everyone gasped at her beauty. I didn't even imagine my face on this woman! In reality I am 5ft 1 and in the words of Bridget Jones "my legs only go up to here".

After doing a lot of inner work I realised that I thought what was bothering me was the fact that I was the heaviest I had been in over a year. I was by no means overweight, my clothes all still fit me and I was teaching 6 days a week so I was pretty active. Seeing that image in my head I realised that the number on the scale had nothing to do with it, (I have empowered myself by disassociating from the scales- being free from guilt and only seeing it as data and information - more on that another day) it was instead this insane model bride in my head that was making me feel unworthy of the white dress.

Once I realised that my feelings were based on an impossible idea I started to see the whole thing for what it was: ridiculous!

Was I really going to regret being the healthiest, happiest and most free that I had ever been?

Was I going to spend the next few weeks being hangry and moody trying to starve myself into a 6 foot model?

Was Alan going to refuse to marry me if my bum was a bit bigger and I wasn't as thin as when he met me?

Hell to the NO!

The man that loves me is the man that loves me for a reason. He isn't marrying me because of the way I look but the person that I am. Crazy meltdowns and all!

After accepting the way I felt was how I felt and then working to move past it, I didn't think about the way I looked after that realisation day. When I walked down the isle in June this year not one of my thoughts gravitated to "I wish I looked thinner". I focused on how I FELT, and I felt bloody amazing! In not one of those photos do I think, oh my chin is too big, my arms are too chunky etc. Instead I see that massive bloody grin on my face and know that I had the most incredible wedding day - complete with Italian ice cream for breakfast!

I know so many women that crash diet their way to their wedding and some may lose a lot of weight and feel great for it on their big day but more often than not it then gives them a reason to beat themselves up for the rest of their married lives. Thoughts of "oh I wish I could be back at that weight again", "I was so much happier when I was thin". No love! You were happy because you were marrying the man of your dreams. The reality of it was that you probably spent the last few weeks before your wedding stressing yourself out for eating a carb, or counting calories, or not eating with your family because you were on a 'special diet' which consisted of shit shakes designed to dehydrate and starve you. The minute that the wedding was over you probably had the feeling of "yes! I can eat whatever I want now" causing your starving body to rejoice and store all that energy for future use and thus the diet cycle began.

In the grand scheme of things 5 pounds or 5 stone does not determine your happiness. Your view of yourself and the way you look at life is what makes the difference.

Your weight and the size of your clothes won't bring happiness to you. Happiness is there within us always. You just have to remember that you have the power to find it again. Someone else alone can't bring happiness to you. We aren't here to be saved by a knight in shining armour, we ARE that knight. So go out and do what makes you feel good. Move in a way that makes you feel great. Eat what you enjoy and that nourishes your body.

It's all about perspective.

So if you ever find yourself feeling a little off kilter take a step back and think about why...

Are you holding onto unrealistic goals?

Are you concentrating on something that won't really matter in the long run?

Are you maybe just having a bit of a bad day?!

Also, don't be so hard on yourself! This self-love stuff takes a hell of a lot of work but you've got this!

Confessions of a Pilates teacher Pt 1

Sat, 09 Jun 2018 08:43:42 GMT

This month marks one year since I took the leap from being a miserable, anxiety ridden employee to taking ownership of my life and my happiness and took my Pilates business from part-time to full-time. It has been a truly transformational year and it's incredible how much your life can change when you finally start to follow what lights you up!

As a Pilates teacher I often get asked lots of questions about what I do and also quite a few assumptions are made about how I live my life. I am so aware that social media can portray a certain "perfect" image or life which can not only mislead people but also, if you start to compare your life with what you see on social media you can end up feeling a little disheartened.

I want to make sure that I am always 100% honest and open with the people that I work with online and in person so I thought it would be fun to give you the answers to a few of the most common questions that I get asked.

DO YOU EAT "HEALTHY" ALL THE TIME?

Nope! I take care of myself, sure, but my life isn't always full of green juices, avocado salads or rice and chicken meals. I usually look to eat wholesome, nourishing foods from the earth because I LOVE the way that it makes me feel. I'm not overly rigid with my diet though, partly because I suffered with an eating disorder for a very long time when I was younger. At the beginning what started as counting calories and limiting my intake over my energy expenditure soon turned into an illness that was ingrained into my very being and very nearly cost me my life. For this reason being obsessive about what I eat, having a rigid diet or labelling foods as "good" and "bad" is something that I will never, ever promote. Instead I listen to what my body wants and needs, what makes it feel good; if I fancy something sweet I usually reach for a piece of dark chocolate or an almond bite but if we're out at the cinema pic & mix is not off the agenda!

YOU MUST WORKOUT ALL THE TIME?

Ha! I'm pretty sure that I find fitting in exercise as hard as everyone else! I teach 6 days a week, 2-5 hours a day and then have to run my business, film and write all on top of that! Life is busy and it can be easy to start seeing exercise as just another "have to do" part of your day which means it automatically becomes a bit of a chore. The most helpful thing that i've done is change my mindset around HOW I exercise. I don't tell myself that I HAVE to workout a couple of hours a week, instead I aim for about 10-15 minutes, 2-3 times a week around my teaching. If it's a lovely day I go for a walk listening to audible or if it's raining, I put some music on and dance around my house. There isn't any "I should" or "I have to" in my exercise routine and as a result I enjoy exercising so do it more often and don't feel guilty if I don't feel like it one day.

DO YOU SOMETIMES LOOK AT PEOPLE AND THINK YOU CAN'T HELP THEM?!

Never! The day I do is the day I stop teaching! There is no perfect in my book - what is perfect anyway?! Because of this I never urge my clients to do things exactly like everyone else. Perfectionism is one of the damaging dangers in our society because it is a goal that we will never reach. I have no opinion on my clients; it doesn't matter to me whether someone has never done exercise before or whether they run marathons on the weekends. All I care about is that my clients are open to try new things and give themselves the grace to make mistakes and take it step by step. Pilates isn't about perfectionism. It is about each individuals body and through practice learning the correct techniques in order to balance the muscles and create flexible strength. Every body can benefit from the Pilates technique in one way or another and in turn everyone can see improvements with their physical and mental health by participating in an exercise that isn't about being the best in a room of people or competing against others, it is about doing the best for the individual and reconnecting to themselves without any judgement.

Do you have any questions for me?

emily

What is EFT Tapping?

With Boy George bringing EFT into the spotlight prompting Sean Walsh and Jill Scott to start tapping in the jungle, many more people are asking; ‘What is tapping and what is it all about?’

What is EFT Tapping?

How do you do EFT?

My Breastfeeding Journey & Favourites

My Breastfeeding Favourites

Morning Sickness Hacks

Morning Sickness Hacks

T ﻿ ake your folic acid in the evening before you go to bed.

G ﻿ inger!

Peppermint/Ginger tea

E ﻿ at little and often

A ﻿ lways have something on hand

K ﻿ eep yourself upright

A ﻿ void certain smells

K ﻿ eep note of what sets you off

T ﻿ ravel bands

S ﻿ tay hydrated

Get outside

T ﻿ ry alternative therapies

Pregnancy: Morning Sickness & Mental Health Struggles

I never expected pregnancy to be a walk in the park, but I was surprised at just how much it impacted my mental health and brought up memories of having an eating disorder.

Dealing with morning sickness after previously living with bulimia brought up behaviours, old thoughts and feelings which I thought I had left behind.

Guilt and shame cause us to be less likely to admit when we are struggling and therefore reaching out for help can feel like a defeat instead of what it is: a positive step.

I'm so glad that I continued to ask for help when I needed it, despite the fears and misjudged feeling of failure that it brought.

I ﻿ f you're looking for some morning sickness hacks check out my blog post here

Prenatal Exercise Do's & Dont's

You're pregnant! Congratulations!

Listen to your body

Don't overstretch

Support your balance

Limit your ab work

G ﻿ et off your back

Avoid having both legs in the air

Kneel instead of lying on your front

Plank no more

Stay hydrated

D ﻿ on't avoid cardio

Be kind

G ﻿ et on the mat

How to: Engaging your Core

Pilates Belt Work

How To Heal Diastasis Recti A.K.A The Mum Tum

Being a Pilates teacher, I have been asked a lot about Diastasis Recti and whether there is anything to be done to help to banish the "dreaded mum tum".

WHY NOT JOIN IN WITH ONE OF MY CLASSES? WITH MY ONLINE CLASSES YOU CAN DO PILATES WITHOUT EVEN GETTING DRESSED! CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE!

What's the difference between Pilates and Yoga?

The Origins of Yoga

The Origins of Pilates

My Thoughts

One Year No Beer! (or any alcohol in general)

�� O N E Y E A R ��

Happy New Year & FREE Pilates!

Is it too late to say Happy New Year? hope that the start of 2020 is treating you well?

6 Months Sober & Nearly Medication Free

Well there’s a title I didn't think I’d write.

2 Months, 24 Days

The Joys of Alcohol Free Drinks

So I know many people who are trying to quit drinking avoid anything alcohol related; drinks, pubs, clubs etc. However for me, at the moment, alcohol free drinks are totally helping me to not only stay sober, but also how most “normal” people approach their favourite tipple.

Sober Spice

On Monday night my sisters and I took my oldest niece to the Spice World concert in Bristol.

6 Weeks Sober

When I first decided to go on my sober journey I had every intention to document it all...

Bossing Bank Holiday

I am now 2 bank holidays down as a sober bird. I didn’t really think about it until Sunday afternoon at our friends house when they cracked open the wine at dinner.

Trading in a fuzzy head and anxious tummy for Cotswold walks and belly laughs

So to celebrate my second sober weekend I decided to support my oldest sister with her training for a challenge that she’s taking on in June.

Another One Bites The Dust

Another sober Friday completed.

Sober Dreams

So I’ve heard a lot about people having using dreams when they are trying to abstain from alcohol or a similar addictive substance. It’s quite common to dream that you get drunk, you may be enjoying yourself or it may be a nightmare but then ultimately you wake up feeling guilty and conflicted.

Thank F*** it's Friday?

I’m on day 2, night 3 of 365. That’s depressing.

My First Sober Birthday

So yesterday was my first sober birthday since I was probably about 16 and you know what? I loved it.

So Here Goes….

Edit your life frequently and ruthlessly. It’s your masterpiece after all.

I'm crushing on coconut oil!

Find out how coconut oil can benefit your health

COOKING

T ake your folic acid in the evening before you go to bed.

G inger!

E at little and often

A lways have something on hand

K eep yourself upright

A void certain smells

K eep note of what sets you off

T ravel bands

S tay hydrated

T ry alternative therapies

I f you're looking for some morning sickness hacks check out my blog post here

G et off your back

D on't avoid cardio

G et on the mat